Biscuit Trumps

The Biscuit Trumps help you find the right biscuits to support your needs.

Looking for something posh? Hit the 'Poshness' button.
In need of a few extra calories? Then it's the 'Calories' button for you.

If you'd like to make your own pack of cards to play for real, you can download a PDF version of the Biscuit Trumps ready for printing.

Looking for digital apps for teaching? Try the Tech TrumpsĀ®

Currently ordering biscuits by Weight [order by biscuit name]

Age Weight (g) Size (cm) Calories Poshness Dunkability
Crumbly sandwich in a whirl shape with cream and jam
Viennese Whirl logo
Age (years)
69
Weight (g)
28
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
140
Poshness
10
Dunkability
4
Think these are Austrian? Think again - they're from East Anglia! Delicious and light they might be, but just watch those calories - if double biscuit wasn't bad enough, just think of all that cream and jam :-)
Rectangular biscuit with ridged sides framing a dotted middle
Shortcake logo
Age (years)
436
Weight (g)
28
Size (cm)
8.5
Calories
98
Poshness
4
Dunkability
8
Older than shortbread, this has a slightly finer texture which means it's not as crumbly. Good solid texture means it dunks well, but overdo it and you'll end up with a soggy mush at the bottom of your mug.
Sandwich style filled with marshmallow and covered in chocolate
Wagon Wheel logo
Age (years)
48
Weight (g)
25
Size (cm)
9.5
Calories
108
Poshness
2
Dunkability
2
A beast of a biscuit, though not perhaps the calorie supplier you'd expect on account of that light and airy filling. Useful for child cake making in particular, especially for tractor wheels.
Dark chocolate sandwich filled with a white vanilla cream
Oreo logo
Age (years)
112
Weight (g)
23
Size (cm)
4.5
Calories
56
Poshness
6
Dunkability
6
An American intruder in a predominantly English list! It's earned its place alongside British stalwarts such as the Rich Tea and Digestive, with it's deliciously dark flavour and intense vanilla cream filling.
Round oat biscuit with a good crunch
Oat Crunchie logo
Age (years)
3024
Weight (g)
21
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
56
Poshness
2
Dunkability
8
Probably the rarest biscuit on this list, but a goody. Practically a health snack compared to most, with it's focus on slow energy release oats rather than chocolate and sugar. A Scottish favourite.
Crumbly buttery biscuit dotted with small holes
Shortbread logo
Age (years)
288
Weight (g)
20
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
95
Poshness
8
Dunkability
4
Originally from Scotland, these delicious biscuits are designed to keep you going in all climates, so watch those calories! Can grace all tables, with its ability to come plain (thick finger) or fancy (petticoat tails) as desired.
Soft crumbly pastry wrapped around a figgy centre
Fig Roll logo
Age (years)
133
Weight (g)
18
Size (cm)
5.0
Calories
65
Poshness
3
Dunkability
3
Is it a cake or a biscuit? Who cares, it's delicious either way. Or., then again, it's disgusting! Did ever one biscuit create quite so many arguments as the fig roll? (cf. Jaffa Cake)
Two thick shortcake rounds filled with sticky strawberry jam
Jammie Dodger logo
Age (years)
64
Weight (g)
18
Size (cm)
5.0
Calories
78
Poshness
4
Dunkability
6
A biscuit named after a cartoon character! Yes, it's true, the Jammie Dodger really was named after Rodger the Dodger from the Beano. Crumbly double pastry with a heart shaped hole and sweet strawberry jam.
Crumbly biscuit topped with a thick layer of dark chocolate
Dark Chocolate Digestive logo
Age (years)
99
Weight (g)
17
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
83
Poshness
7
Dunkability
9
Originally produced in 1925 in the UK as the Chocolate Homewheat Digestive, a recent survey said the chocolate digestive is the most popular biscuit in the UK to dunk into tea.
Crumbly biscuit topped with a thick layer of milk chocolate
Milk Chocolate Digestive logo
Age (years)
94
Weight (g)
17
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
83
Poshness
4
Dunkability
9
Originally produced in 1925 in the UK as the Chocolate Homewheat Digestive, a recent survey said the chocolate digestive is the most popular biscuit in the UK to dunk into tea.
Flapjack style biscuit made from oats and honey topped with chocolate
Dark Chocolate Hobnob logo
Age (years)
37
Weight (g)
16
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
90
Poshness
7
Dunkability
9
An evolution of the classic Hobnob biscuit, this dark chocolate version brings a little more class to this old favourite - but a few more calories as well.
Flapjack style biscuit made from oats and honey topped with chocolate
Milk Chocolate Hobnob logo
Age (years)
37
Weight (g)
16
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
90
Poshness
6
Dunkability
9
An evolution of the classic Hobnob biscuit, this milk chocolate version is not quite as classy as it's dark chocolate cousin, but suits those with a sweet tooth. Watch out for those extra calories though.
Semi-sweet plain biscuit designed to aid digestion
Digestive logo
Age (years)
132
Weight (g)
15
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
71
Poshness
4
Dunkability
10
Originally from Scotland, this biscuit really was designed by doctors to aid digestion. The best selling biscuit in the UK - and rightfully so. But watch out when dunking, it will fall apart!
Flapjack style biscuit made from oats and honey
Hobnob logo
Age (years)
39
Weight (g)
14
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
67
Poshness
5
Dunkability
10
A relative newcomer to the biscuit barrel, this young biscuit rapidly won the hearts of many in the UK and has since spawned a couple of chocolate covered cousins. If you're a fan of oats you'll love it.
Round biscuit with a mint topping covered in milk chocolate
Viscount logo
Age (years)
71
Weight (g)
14
Size (cm)
6.5
Calories
74
Poshness
9
Dunkability
3
The only wrapped biscuit on this list, these used to be wrapped in different colours to show which flavour they were, but sadly only the mint flavour (green) remains. An indulgent treat, and a posh one at that.
Sandwich style chocolate biscuit with chocolate cream
Bourbon logo
Age (years)
114
Weight (g)
14
Size (cm)
7.5
Calories
67
Poshness
5
Dunkability
9
The biscuit was named after the European royal House of Bourbon. A 2009 survey in the UK found that the Bourbon biscuit was the fifth most popular biscuit dunk into tea, hence its high dunkability rating.
Sandwich style biscuit with a layer of vanilla flavoured cream
Custard Cream logo
Age (years)
116
Weight (g)
13
Size (cm)
5.0
Calories
65
Poshness
4
Dunkability
6
Traditionally filled with buttercream, the custard cream has long been a staple of the biscuit tin. Perfect for peeling apart, and scraping that gorgeous middle off all by itself with your teeth.
Small round, thick biscuit full of chocolate chips
Chocolate Chip Cookie logo
Age (years)
86
Weight (g)
12
Size (cm)
4.5
Calories
56
Poshness
3
Dunkability
6
Originally from the USA, this chocolately delight has captured the hearts of people all over the world. Choc (!) full of chocolate chips, it's the biscuit to satisfy the need for that instant endorphin rush.
Sponge topped with orange jelly covered in dark chocolate
Jaffa Cake logo
Age (years)
97
Weight (g)
12
Size (cm)
6.0
Calories
46
Poshness
4
Dunkability
2
Legally a cake, but as far as this list if concerned it's also a biscuit :-) Who can resist that soft texture, the intensely fruity orange jam, and than thick layer of oh so dark chocolate. Lovely. But dunk at your peril.
Thin, brittle ginger biscuit from Cornwall
Cornish Fairing logo
Age (years)
138
Weight (g)
11
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
75
Poshness
8
Dunkability
9
The term "fairing" was originally used to describe an edible treat sold at fairs - hence this biscuit! Made with spices and ginger, and well cooked to give a good crunch, they're a great one for dunking.
Thin fruit and nut disc topped with dark chocolate
Florentine logo
Age (years)
334
Weight (g)
10
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
110
Poshness
10
Dunkability
6
Typically made of hazelnuts, almonds and candied fruit such as cherries these sweet biscuits are glued together with butter and honey and then coated on one side with chocolate. Deliciously sticky and moreish.
Crunchy ring biscuits flavoured with desiccated coconut
Coconut Ring logo
Age (years)
124
Weight (g)
10
Size (cm)
8.0
Calories
41
Poshness
8
Dunkability
8
One of the rarer biscuits, but for those who enjoy the flavour of coconut a biscuit not to be missed. All the pleasure of coconut ice, but without (sort of) the calories!
Two thin layers of pastry with a currant filling
Garibaldi logo
Age (years)
163
Weight (g)
9
Size (cm)
8.5
Calories
35
Poshness
7
Dunkability
5
The famous 'squashed fly' biscuit really was named after Italian general Giuseppe Garibaldi, leader of the struggle to unify Italy. A fabulous combination of crunchy and soft, sold still joined to its siblings .
Chunky round sandwich biscuit with a generous filling
Crunch Cream logo
Age (years)
171
Weight (g)
9
Size (cm)
5.5
Calories
78
Poshness
6
Dunkability
4
A very popular biscuit, the Crunch Cream is an indulgent treat. Not only does it have two thick savoury biscuits to crunch through, but also a thick layer or gorgeous cream in the middle. Watch out for those calories, though!
Crumbly round biscuit with dried fruit and fluted edges
Fruit Shortcake logo
Age (years)
74
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
6.5
Calories
38
Poshness
6
Dunkability
7
A stalwart of the biscuit barrel, deliciously crumbly with dark sweet jewels of fruit such as raisins liberally distributed throughout, all finished off with a generous sprinkling of granulated sugar.
Round shortcake biscuit with a knobbly pattern
Lincoln logo
Age (years)
74
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
38
Poshness
8
Dunkability
8
A bit of a classic, the Lincoln, but not perhaps one of the most popular these days and a bit too plain for some. Eclipsed by the Rich Tea, perhaps, but still a good dunker due to its hardness.
Malty rectangular biscuit embossed with a cow
Malted Milk logo
Age (years)
100
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.5
Calories
39
Poshness
3
Dunkability
8
You don't get anything else quite like a malted milk, that wonderful combination of, well, malt and milk, funnily enough. Good crunch to it too, making if pretty good for a swim in your cup of tea.
Rectangular biscuit embossed with 'NICE', covered with sugar grains
Nice logo
Age (years)
129
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.5
Calories
39
Poshness
9
Dunkability
8
Allegedly named after the famous French city of the same name, these posh little numbers are often flavoured with coconut and finished with a sprinkling of granulated sugar for extra crunch.
Thin round biscuit embossed with 'Rich Tea'
Rich Tea logo
Age (years)
374
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.5
Calories
38
Poshness
4
Dunkability
10
Originally called Tea Biscuits, these were developed in the 17th Century in Yorkshire for the upper classes, as something to fill the gap between meals. Now very much an everyman biscuit, and a fabulous dunker.
Round dotted biscuit embossed with 'Thin Arrowroot'
Thin Arrowroot logo
Age (years)
134
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.5
Calories
34
Poshness
6
Dunkability
10
Not well know, but it has some pedigree being well over 100 years old. Similar to a Rich Tea, but with a little arrowroot added which gives it a stronger texture - and makes it into an almost indestructible dunker!
Spiced, decorated rectangles with a high sugar content
Speculaas logo
Age (years)
374
Weight (g)
8
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
38
Poshness
9
Dunkability
9
Speculaas (or speculoos) originated in Belgium and the Netherlands, where they're associated with St Nicholas Day. Often accompanying your coffee at posh cafes, they pack in a lot of sugar.
Small hard round biscuit spiced with ginger
Ginger Nut logo
Age (years)
184
Weight (g)
7
Size (cm)
6.0
Calories
29
Poshness
6
Dunkability
10
A prime one for dunking due to its hardness, this little biscuit is also known as the ginger snap in the US. Lovely crunchy texture full of warmth from all that ginger spice.
Light layers of thin pink wafer with a cream filling
Pink Wafer logo
Age (years)
74
Weight (g)
7
Size (cm)
9.0
Calories
39
Poshness
9
Dunkability
2
Love them or hate them, they do get people talking. The fabulously bright pink wafer is a stalwart of the tea box tin, either disappearing in seconds or last to go, depending on the family in question!
Multi-coloured iced ring biscuit with a wavy pattern
Party Ring logo
Age (years)
41
Weight (g)
6
Size (cm)
4.5
Calories
28
Poshness
1
Dunkability
4
A child party favourite, who can resist those wonderful multi-coloured wavy lines. It's all about the sucrose with these little jewels, wonderfully crisp iced sugar topping on a thin sweet biscuit.
Thin round biscuit embossed with 'Marie'
Marie logo
Age (years)
150
Weight (g)
6
Size (cm)
7.0
Calories
23
Poshness
8
Dunkability
8
Created to commemorate a grand marriage between the UK and Russia, the Marie biscuit has become particularly popular in Spain. Simple but tasty, a kind of European Rich Tea.
Long crunchy biscuit covered in thick milk chocolate
Chocolate Finger logo
Age (years)
127
Weight (g)
5
Size (cm)
9.0
Calories
31
Poshness
5
Dunkability
4
The venerable chocolate finger is old enough to be everybody's grandfather - and is just as popular. A true classic. No children's birthday party would be complete without a plate of these beauties.

Created by a Doctor of Education, these 'Biscuit Trumps' are a bit of fun, but they're actually based on an original concept to help align peoples needs with objects in the world around them, using an updated understanding of the theory of affordance. Interested? You can Read about Dr Osborne's research into educational technology at his website, Catalysed.co.uk.

Disclaimer: This is a bit of fun! Whilst some attempt has been made to give accurate ratings in each category, it's nto always been possible to find good data. Please bear in mind these ratings are at best a personal interpretation of each biscuit based on one individuals thoughts and feelings - and if you have any thoughts for changes, just let me know and I'll see what I can do :-)